


Coping Mechanisms

by Mythica



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: F/M, post 4x19
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-09
Updated: 2016-04-09
Packaged: 2018-06-01 06:47:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6505525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mythica/pseuds/Mythica
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone has their own way of dealing with grief.  Some people shut down.  Some people blame themselves.  After Laurel's death, Oliver finds Felicity in the bunker doing what she does to cope.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coping Mechanisms

**Author's Note:**

> I've never been a big Laurel fan. Her character didn't seem to be written very well and her transition to Black Canary seemed rushed. That being said, I didn't think it was necessary to kill her off either. Her friendship with Oliver was really starting to show this season and it will be missed. She was one person who could understand both Oliver and Felicity and was probably their best chance at getting back together. Now it's just depressing to think that Olicity had their time and the writers are moving on. Too bad. It was really working this season too. Maybe my obsession with Arrow will wane now. *sigh*
> 
> Just a quick one-shot that popped into my head after Wednesday's episode.

As the doors to the bunker opened, Oliver paused on hearing a sound he hadn’t heard in weeks. Frowning slightly, he walked out of the elevator and towards the computer workstations only to pause when he saw who was frantically typing.

“Felicity?”

She didn’t even acknowledge his presence as she continued to focus on the screens in front of her. Oliver hadn’t seen her since Laurel’s funeral. He knew she had been really shaken up by her death, to the point where she told him that he had to kill Darhk. The only other time she had told him to kill someone was when he went to face Ra’s al Ghul. It wasn’t like her to make such drastic statements, but when it came to having her friends and family hurt, he knew she made an exception.

Watching her for a few minutes, Oliver frowned when he realized that he hadn’t seen her like this since she was searching for how to save Ray Palmer. Knowing how upset she was about Laurel’s death, somehow he knew that eventually he’d find her down here. 

“Felicity!” His louder voice got her attention as she jumped slightly and turned to face him.

“What?!” she snapped.

“What are you doing here?” he asked, slowly walking up to stand behind her.

“Looking for Darhk,” she explained as she turned back to her work and focused on the screens.

The entire team wanted to find both Darhk and Malcolm Merlyn, but Felicity was the only one to dive into it so soon after Laurel’s funeral. Everyone else was finding their way to grieve and this was Felicity’s way. Just like Oliver had come to the bunker to work out, Felicity buried herself in work to keep her mind off of her grief. They both found ways of avoiding it, which he knew wasn’t healthy for either one of them. Walking over to her side to look at her, he frowned when he saw the exhausted look on her face. It definitely wasn’t healthy for her.

“Have you slept?” he asked.

“I can’t,” she admitted, not looking up at him.

“Felicity, you aren’t going to do anyone any good if you wear yourself out.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Felicity corrected, slamming her hands on the desk and finally looking at him. “I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see her, on that hospital bed. I can’t just… do nothing. I have to find him.”

“We all want to find him,” Oliver reminded her, placing a cautious hand on her shoulder. “But you know you can’t focus if you don’t sleep.”

Felicity leaned her head from side to side, trying to stretch out the knots that she knew were forming. “I can’t,” she said again, turning back to the computers. “What if he comes back? He knows who you all are now. I won’t let him take any one else I love away from me.”

“We’ll find him,” Oliver told her confidently. “No matter what it takes, we’ll find him and he will pay for what he did, but you’re no good to anyone if you don’t rest.”

When she felt him squeeze her shoulder slightly, she stood up, brushing his hand away as she started to wave her hands around frantically.

“He was here!” Felicity yelled. “Malcolm Merlyn was here! He got in and he took the idol. If he hadn’t gotten in, none of this would be happening!”

“You know it’s not easy to keep Merlyn out,” Oliver reminded her.

“Then it should have been kept somewhere else!”

“Where?” Oliver asked indignantly as he crossed his arms in front of him. “Felicity, this is one of the most secure locations in Star City. Where else would have been better?”

“I don’t know!” she admitted, dropping her arms to her side. “All I know is that if he hadn’t gotten that idol then Darhk wouldn’t have regained his powers and Laurel…” Felicity’s voice caught in her throat as she felt her emotions start to well up. “She’d be here… now.”

“Felicity…” Oliver took a step towards her, but Felicity just brushed him away.

“No,” she interrupted as she went back to her workstation. “That bastard has to be stopped. I’m not burying anyone else who I love. We have to find him and…”

“Kill him,” Oliver finished, causing her to stop and look back at him. “Yes, I know.”

The sadness in his voice made Felicity stop what she was doing as he turned away from her and crossed his arms in front of him. Felicity could see something was bothering him by the way he was looking down at his feet and not looking at her.

“Oliver?”

“You know, it so easy to fall back into that,” he explained, turning back to her, but keeping her arms crossed. “I fight with it constantly, trying to be a better man, trying to be someone… that you deserve, but in the end, I am what those five years made me into. You were right to get out when you did. I’m a killer and I was deluding myself into thinking I could be anything else.”

“Oliver, that’s not true,” Felicity countered as he turned and started to walk away. “I remember what you were like when we first met. You were all about your mission and you didn’t care about who might get hurt in the process. You were a killer. Now you’re a hero.”

“Am I?” he asked, turning back to her with anger on his face. “You told me I need to kill him for what he did to Laurel. Even you still see me as a killer.”

Walking up to him, Felicity gently put her hand on his crossed arms, making his expression soften. “You are not a killer,” she told him as he looked into her eyes. “Yes, sometimes you have to resort to killing, but it’s not who you are. It is your last resort instead of your first. You try everything in your power to not kill. That makes you a hero.”

“I don’t feel like a hero,” he admitted as his expression grew sad. “Heroes save people. I couldn’t save Laurel.”

“None of us could,” she added as she squeezed his arm gently. “That’s why I have to find Darhk now before anyone else gets hurt.”

Turning back to her computers, Felicity resumed her place as she again started to type. Twisting her neck around again, she took a deep breath and stretched her back, preparing for a long night. Oliver knew she could be obsessive about things, especially when she feels like there is something she can do about it. He could see the signs and he knew she was going to get lost in it.

Oliver considering going and working out, but instead pulled up a chair and sat down, rolling over near the railings so he could watch her work. When she saw him out of her peripheral vision, she glanced over before focusing back on her work.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“Just… watching.”

Felicity glanced at him again, feeling uncomfortable just having him sit there. “Didn’t you come down here for something? Aren’t you going to go… hit something or… something?”

“I was,” he admitted as he began to run his hand along the railing. “But I’m more concerned about you.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, you’re not,” he countered. “I’ve seen this side of you before and I know what it does to you. You need someone to prevent you from falling into the rabbit hole.”

“I’m not falling,” she countered as she continued to type. “I’m… focused.”

“Right…” Felicity could tell that Oliver didn’t believe her, but she couldn’t worry about that. She had to find Darhk.

“Shouldn’t you be with Thea?” she asked, glancing back at him momentarily. “Or Captain Lance? Or John?”

“Sara is with Thea,” Oliver explained. “Quentin and Dinah are with them. John is at home.”

“So, you’re just going to sit there,” she observed, glancing at him again.

“Yup.”

Felicity rolled her eyes as she muttered, “whatever,” and went back to her work. After a short time, she took a deep breath and leaned back in her chair, bringing her hands up to her face and rubbing her eyes. Oliver just watched as her hands went down into her lap and she sat there, keeping her eyes closed for longer than he expected. Sitting up in his chair, he looked over at her and saw that her breathing had evened out and become shallow. He knew that look.

Getting up from his chair, he cringed when he heard it squeak across the smooth floor. When he saw that she didn’t move, he knew she was really out. Walking over to her, he slowly spun her chair around so that she was facing him. Gently sliding one hand under her thighs and pushing another behind her back, Oliver slowly lifted her into his arms as she settled onto his shoulder with a groan. Making sure he had a good hold on her, he slowly walked down off of the dais and towards the back of the bunker. When they had the bunker built, they had a room put in specifically for the long nights spent down there, complete with a few cots. Walking into the room, Oliver carried Felicity to one of the cots, gently putting her down as she groaned and rolled onto her side. Going down to her feet, he pulled off her shoes before gently pushing her legs under the covers. Pulling the covers up over her body, Oliver crouched down next to her and gently pulled the glasses from her face before leaning down and kissing her forehead. Getting up, Oliver placed her glasses on a counter nearby and was about to leave when he heard her speak.

“Don’t go.” Oliver hesitated for a moment until he saw her eyes open slightly. “I… don’t want to be alone.”

Oliver looked to a nearby cot before walking over and sitting down on it. He could see her watching him as he pulled his boots off and started to lay down.

“Can you come closer?”

A small smile came over his face as he stood up and picked up the cot, carrying it over so that it was right next to hers. Felicity closed her eyes again once she saw him sit down. Laying on top of his own covers, Oliver turned on his side so that he was facing Felicity. He was a bit surprised when her hand came out and grabbed his, pulling it towards her. Wrapping her hand around his, she put it between her cheek and the pillow. As she drifted back into sleep, Oliver just laid there, staring at her. It was good to have her back on the team even if the circumstances were less than ideal. He knew they would need her help if they were going to take down Darhk. After that? Well, Oliver just hoped that she would change her mind and stay because whether she knew it or not, he needed her in his life even if it was just helping with the team. After a short while, he felt his own eyes start to get heavy as he slowly closed them, finding his own way to a peaceful sleep.


End file.
